OT humor: Gardener's Psychiatric hotline

Kelly Irvin kellso@irvincentral.com
Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:54:24 PST
Hmmm. I appear to have a number of issues I'm dealing with.

Mr. Kelly M. Irvin
10850 Hodge Ln
Gravette, AR 72736
USDA Cold Hardiness Zone 6a/b


Theladygardens@aol.com wrote:
> Sorry, I couldn't help  myself...
> Cheers! 
> Ring,  ring...Hello! and welcome to the Gardener's Psychiatric  hotline. 
> If you are  buying plants, yet have no space or time to plant them, you are  
> obsessive-compulsive.  Please press 1  repeatedly. 
> If you want  someone else to do the digging, you are co-dependent.  Please 
> ask  someone to press 2. 
> If you will  plant anything and everything, you have multiple personalities.  
>  Please press 3, 4, and 5. 
> If you are sure  the sun, rain, bugs, and plant diseases are out to get you, 
> you are  paranoid delusional.  We know who you are and what you want..just  
> stay on the line so we can trace the call. 
> If you are sure  the flowers are talking to you, listen carefully and a 
> little voice will  tell you which button to press. 
> If you can't  throw away a plant, even if it is dying, you are 
> manic-depressive and it  doesn't matter which button you press. 
> If you think  your garden is being attacked by evil spirits, press  6-6-6. 
> If you continue  to plant only flowers with fragrance, you are nasally 
> fixated.   Please press the scratch-and-sniff button. 
> If you  occasionally hallucinate and know that this year your garden is going 
> to  look as good or better than Martha Stewart's please be aware that the  
> thing you are now holding to the side of your head is alive and is about  to 
> bite your ear. 
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