OT humor: Gardener's Psychiatric hotline

Theladygardens@aol.com Theladygardens@aol.com
Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:44:23 PST
Sorry, I couldn't help  myself...

Ring,  ring...Hello! and welcome to the Gardener's Psychiatric  hotline. 
If you are  buying plants, yet have no space or time to plant them, you are  
obsessive-compulsive.  Please press 1  repeatedly. 
If you want  someone else to do the digging, you are co-dependent.  Please 
ask  someone to press 2. 
If you will  plant anything and everything, you have multiple personalities.  
 Please press 3, 4, and 5. 
If you are sure  the sun, rain, bugs, and plant diseases are out to get you, 
you are  paranoid delusional.  We know who you are and what you want..just  
stay on the line so we can trace the call. 
If you are sure  the flowers are talking to you, listen carefully and a 
little voice will  tell you which button to press. 
If you can't  throw away a plant, even if it is dying, you are 
manic-depressive and it  doesn't matter which button you press. 
If you think  your garden is being attacked by evil spirits, press  6-6-6. 
If you continue  to plant only flowers with fragrance, you are nasally 
fixated.   Please press the scratch-and-sniff button. 
If you  occasionally hallucinate and know that this year your garden is going 
to  look as good or better than Martha Stewart's please be aware that the  
thing you are now holding to the side of your head is alive and is about  to 
bite your ear. 

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